


The Avengers Raise Money

by professor03



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professor03/pseuds/professor03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers need to make some money and decide to hold some fundraisers but things don't exactly go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Car Wash

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of some fanart I saw on Tumblr and it blossomed into something else. I hope you like it!

The team of six sat around a table brainstorming. Fury had just left after telling them that they needed to raise some money and 'no Tony, you can't just give it to us.' They bickered amongst themselves for about ten minutes until Steve spoke up, "I've got it! What about a car wash?" After Tony spent a while complaining about how that meant they actually had to work, they decided that's what they were going to do.

Pro03~Pro03~Pro03

The following Saturday, the Avengers assembled in a nearby parking lot to wash cars. Natasha volunteered to hold the sign while everyone else would wash the cars. All except Tony, instead he sat in a lawn chair at the edge of the parking lot next to Coulson whose car they were washing.

Steve was late and as he got out of his car, Tony fell off his chair because he was laughing so hard. "Really? Stars and Stripes? You are… I can't even." He had to stop because he was laughing so hard. Steve's board shorts were red and white stripped on one side and the other was blue with white stars.

Steve ignored Tony and walked to Coulson's car and began to help. His back was facing the two men who were watching. Tony took the sign from Natasha and quickly scribbled, "Free butts" on it.

"Aaaw yeah. Looking good Steve!" Steve's faced burned with embarrassment as he continued to wash the car. Tony glanced over and saw Phil staring at the Captain's bum. "Taking in the sights, huh, Coulson?" Coulson snapped back into the real world and quickly looked away.

As soon as Phil was gone, Steve walked over to Tony and pulled him up by the shirt.

"Oh pushy pushy."

"Would you cut it out?" Steve said through gritted teeth. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Natasha was looking at him like he had three heads.

"Why? I'm just complimenting you," Tony said faking innocence.

"Just shut up." Steve pushed Tony roughly back onto the chair before walking away.

"Ooh your  _butt_  looks even nicer when your angry!" Tony yelled across the parking lot.

At this point Steve had had it. He ran back over to Tony and pulled him up. He walked him across the lot to where the hose was. "Gimme that," he said pulling it from Thor. He took the hose and pointed it at Tony. "You will be sorry for that comment."

Tony grinned, "Will I now?" Steve took aim and sprayed Tony before grabbing a bucket of soaping water and dumping it on him. "What the…" Tony was cut off by a sponge flying directly at his face. It hit the ground with a small squelching noise and Steve stopped.

"Are you sorry?"

Tony grabbed another bucket. "It's not my fault you have an amazing butt!" And with that he threw the bucketful of water at Steve, drenching him.

Realizing that trying to stop them was pointless, the other Avengers joined in. When Fury drove by, he got out of his car. All movement stopped as he walked over to where they were standing. He opened his mouth to speak but Tony sprayed the hose into his mouth.

Needless to say, the Avengers would be doing some more fundraising next Saturday.


	2. Bake Sale

After some more debate it, was decided that the Avengers would have a bake sale. They would each make some of their favorite baked goods and bring them to the basement of the local church. They mainly stayed out of each other's way until they arrived in church hall.

When the day of the bake sale arrived, Bruce was arguing with Tony in the church basement. "Yes, they are edible! I tried one!"

Bruce shook his head; "You made them in a lab. Without any food ingredients. I'm pretty sure you can't eat them."

In a box, Tony was carrying black cookies. "Are those burnt," Natasha asked.

"No, they are glow in the dark. Even I'm not that bad a cook." Tony muttered.

Bruce had individually wrapped brownies, which looked very good. Natasha brought very girly pink sparkly cupcakes. "Are they laced with something?" Tony inquired as he threw his box on the table.

Natasha rolled her eyes at Tony. "Very funny and no they aren't. I actually enjoy baking. It's good stress reliever."

Thor was balancing a cake on each hand. The one on the right was round and had several tears. The one on the left was square and looked like something off of  _Cake Boss_. "Is this sufficient? Should I have made more?"

Clint looked down at his simple chocolate chip cookies, a little ashamed. Steve had brought mini pies that he had made. Tony walked over to where he was setting up a table. "Let me guess, apple pie?" The blush on Steve's cheeks was a sufficient answer.

Pro03~Pro03~Pro03

After Mass ended upstairs, people shuffled downstairs for coffee. There were several little kids who just about died in shock seeing the Avengers having a bake sale. A lot of people came over to buy stuff. Thor's cakes seemed to be what everyone was talking about. Nobody even went near Tony's cookies and the priest gave him the eye when he yelled at someone who told him they were burnt. The older women adored Natasha's cupcakes and the decorations on them. It wasn't long before all of Bruce's brownies were sold.

"How'd you do that?" Steve asked Bruce.

"I don't know. I guess people really liked them." Steve glanced over at Tony before saying, "I bet it's because they weren't burnt or radioactive or anything like that."

Tony causally walked over to the two gentlemen before grabbing a cupcake and offering it to Steve. "No, I'm all set, thanks."

"Oh I don't think you are," he smashed the cupcake into Steve's face and then hurriedly backing away.

Steve grabbed an apple pie and hurled it at Tony who took it square in the face. "Is that all you got, old man?" He roared as another pie whizzed past his head.

"Nope." Steve pinned him to the ground and smashed pie after pie in Tony's face. He only stopped when heard, "What do you think you are doing?" and saw Fury standing over him. He stood up and quickly as possible and started stuttering.

"Save it. I assume that Stark is not as innocent as he's making himself out to be." He looked down at Tony who was being as dramatic as possible throwing his arm over his forehead saying, "I don't know if I'll make it."

Steve kicked his side. "Oh" Tony gasped in fake pain as he threw himself back to the floor. "This is it for me guys. After all the opportunities I've had to die in battle at the hands of my enemies, it was Steve You traitor. All this time you've been plotting haven't you? To smash my face until I,"

"Sorry to interrupt your soap opera but you need to clean up."

Pro03~Pro03~Pro03

After they cleaned the church hall, they counted the money. They had made just over $100. Feeling accomplished, Tony swaggered forward to hand it to Fury. He quickly counted it and said, "Congratulations," he deadpanned. "We need more. A lot more." He sighed as Steve sent Tony a look that said, "This is all your fault."


	3. Date Auction

Fury organized the next event for the Avengers so he expected everything to work out. Little did he know what he was getting into when he set up a date auction. He asked that they all show up in nice clothes. Everyone managed to do that except for Tony. Thor, Clint, Bruce, and Steve all wore suits and ties. Of course Steve's was red white, and blue. Natasha was wearing a nice form fitting dress. Tony was wearing a pair of ratty jeans, sneakers, and his favorite Black Sabbath tee shirt.

"What are you wearing?" Fury's voice boomed over the crowd that was gathering. Tony strolled through the crowd with his signature smirk on his face.

"You said dress nicely. This is my nice outfit. And I took a shower. What else do you want?" He grinned as he joined his teammates.

Fury ignored him as he calmed the room down to start the auction. Everyone was seated and Fury stood at a podium at the front of the room. The Avengers sat behind him in a row.

He started with Natasha. "Anyone want to buy this lovely lady?" A few people bid before Pepper bid $1,000. Everyone looked at Tony. Clint shifted in his seat before whispering to his friends that he wanted to buy her but it would've been weird.

Clint was next up. An old lady, who was at least 80, said she'd buy him for $1,500. He groaned and slouched down in his chair as Tony started cracking jokes.

Bruce bit his nails as Fury asked if anyone would like to spend an evening with him. Natasha looked over at him and smiled as a young woman bid $500. Bruce glanced over at the woman and she smiled at him. No one else bid but he had a good feeling about this lady.

Jane came and she bid on Thor, no one else bid because they saw how they looked at each other. She had to hand over $200 but it was worth it for her.

Steve squirmed in his chair when Fury asked if they would to buy "this strapping gentleman." The bidding went quickly and it wasn't long before someone in the back of the room called out, "$10,000."

"Sold!" A man walked out of the shadowy doorway and smiled. It was Phil. Tony laughed and broke the silence. Steve was blushing so hard and he wanted to crawl into a hole.

Last but not least was Tony. "Let's get this started," Fury said.  _Crickets._ "Come on people. $100?" Silence. "$50?" Nothing. "$25?" The silence was starting to get awkward. Pepper stepped forward and said "5 bucks."

"And he's sold!"

The Avengers met up with their buyers and money was exchanged. They made $13,200. After stuff was sorted out, it was decided that next Saturday the buyers would be spending the day with the Avengers they had a date with, except for Clint and Natasha, they would do that whenever they wanted.


	4. Tony's Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we're gonna pretend that Tony and Pepper aren't dating. Because I was still in Stony land when I wrote this and forgot they are in fact canon.

"Hey, uh, Pepper? Thanks." Tony walked away from her as she entered the door. "I really didn't want to go on a date anyways."

"Oh you are taking me on a date. Just because I paid $5 doesn't mean that you're not taking me out for dinner or something." She was wearing a new dress and had a clutch to match. "Where are you taking me?"

"Pepper," Tony whined, "Why do I have to take you on a date?" He was shuffling around his living room.

"Because I spent my money on you," she replied. "Come on, it'll be fun. We don't have to go for dinner."

Tony had his phone out and said, "Okay I've got an idea but you need a change of clothes." He walked to his room and Pepper followed. He tossed her a one of his shirts and went to the laundry room that all the Avengers shared. He grabbed a pair of Natasha's pants and gave them to her. He stole a pair of Natasha's socks and then found a pair of woman's sneakers in his closet.

"Where'd those come from?" Tony simply shrugged.

"You stay here and get dressed and I'll be back in ten minutes," he called over his shoulder as he left Pepper standing in his living room, holding other people's clothes.

Pro03~Pro03~Pro03

Tony returned and Pepper was dressed. He had a shopping bag full of stuff she couldn't see. It was starting to get dark outside. He nodded at her. "Let's go."

"Tony, where are we going?" Pepper followed him out the door and out to his car. She was starting to get annoyed. Soon they were at the park and Tony was telling her to get out. He walked around to the trunk of his car and pulled out a picnic blanket followed by a picnic basket.

"When did you pack that?" Tony was now marching across the park to a small grassy area off to the side. "Tony," she called after him.

"I thought you wanted to go on a date, Pepper. This is our date; a glow in the dark picnic! So get over here!" He set everything on the ground and spread the blanket. He put the basket on the corner and opened the bag and Pepper heard the sound of glow sticks cracking. She saw a stick of neon pink bend into a ring and then briefly light up Tony's face before slipping onto his neck.

Pepper walked over and by the time she over there Tony had pulled out everything he bought and took it out of the packaging. He had glow sticks, a Frisbee, a football, balloons, and two packs of sidewalk chalk. It was all glow in the dark. Then he pulled out a paintbrush and a bottle of glow in the dark paint. He screwed off the lid and dibbed the brush in. Then we walked the few steps over to Pepper and dragged the brush down her nose. He did the same to himself and then blew up the balloons.

By now it was dark and the only light in the park was from the stuff Tony brought. They ate the simple dinner he had brought and then Tony handed her a stick of chalk.

"And now we draw," he demonstrated when he walked over to the path running through the center of the park and started to draw on it. Pepper walked over and joined him. She had to admit this was one of the coolest dates she'd been on even if it was just a friendly thing. When the sidewalk was sufficiently decorated they played around with football even though they were both pretty hopeless. Pepper threw the Frisbee but Tony wasn't ready and it hit his face.

"Ow, Pepper!" His voice was muffled as his hands were covering his mouth. She rushed over to look and saw that she hit his lip.

"I, I'm so sorry, Tony. Let me go across the street and get some Motrin or ice or something." She was fumbling with the pocket of Tony's jacket, which had given her when the temperature dropped. She pulled out some money. "I'll be right back."

"No, Pepper, I'm fine. I'm a big boy, I can handle." He smiled as if to show he was all-better.

"You sure? It's just across the street." She looked over at the store. Then back at Tony.

"Wait. No, I need something."

The panicked look came back to her face. "What? What do you need? Let me go and get it."

"A get better kiss." He grinned and leaned over to kiss her. It was soft and gentle but it was what both of them wanted. It was Tony who pulled away first to Pepper's surprise.

"Pepper, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry." He walked back over to the blanket.

"No, Tony. It was fine. It was more than fine." She smiled as she kissed him again a little more passionately than before. His hand cupped her face and she moved to drape her arms over his shoulders. She pulled away and smiled.

"All better now?" She couldn't help but smile as she helped him clean up. She took the paint from him and went to the nearest bench. She covered the tip of her finger with paint and wrote their initials in a heart.

"Wow, Pepper I didn't realize how corny you were." He grabbed her hand and brought the stuff back to the car. He drove her home and dropped her off with another kiss.

"I'm glad I paid $5 for a date, Tony. I had a lot of fun." She pecked him on the check and waved as Tony drove away. Tony smiled all the way home even when he realized that he gave Pepper his favorite shirt and jacket and that Natasha would probably ill him for giving away her pants. But it was worth it; way worth it.


End file.
